Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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