Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
