i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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