A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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