dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
