I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
