found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
