If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
A+ Viking dick
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
