I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
