remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
