We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
