I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
only if we run a train.
done.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
