So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
