she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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