it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
