what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
