i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
