we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
