So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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