so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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