So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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