shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
