i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
