is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
