It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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