Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You are a genius and a whore.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
