i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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