lets start a swedish sibling band together
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
