I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
