So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
