tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
