Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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