Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
is it fun? or sober?
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