You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Naked. naked and bneed help.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
