So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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