season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
