marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
