oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You have to summon your inner elephant
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize