did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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