i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
