So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
