Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize