i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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