I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
