Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
