Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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