so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
