I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
