I faked an abortion last night.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize