people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
