The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
