Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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