exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
