then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
as a side note pls kill me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
