its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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