Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
