Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
