And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
